The Man Who Finds A Wife, Finds A Treasure

PROVERBS 18:22

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:22‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/114/pro.18.22.NKJV

“Marriage is a good thing.” Problems in marriage arise from breakdown in communication or mutual respect for one another, not because their are flaws in marriage (12:4) but in man.

The Lord God said, “it is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him (GENESIS 2:18).”

God’s creative work was not complete until he created women and what she represents, the church, God's body of people.

God chose to create Eve from the side of man, from his bone rather than from dust as He created Adam.

In doing so, He illustrated to us that in marriage, a man and his wife are united into one. The same applies to our relationship with Christ (EPHESIANS 2:6).

Interestingly, when Christ died on a cross, His side was pierced and blood and water come from His wound (JOHN 19:34).

Just as Eve was birthed from the side of man, the church was birthed from the side Of Jesus Christ, which is why God baptises His people with blood, water, Holy Spirit and fire (1 JOHN 5:6; Mathew 3:11) as a public declaration of His Covenant with His people. Jesus was too baptised, not for the remission of sin, for He had none, but as a public declaration of His covenant with His people, the body. 

When one receives the gift of the Holy Spirit through baptism of blood and fire, he is saved, for the Holy Spirit joins with one's spirit, and “The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭16‬-‭17‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

He didn’t take the bone from Adam’s head that she would be above him, nor from his foot that she should be trodden down; but from his side, just as Christ was pierced in His side, that they are and shall remain equals, and in marriage  become one flesh in Christ.

 In our relationship with Jesus, just as in human marriage, while we are joint heirs with Christ, but, we must remain obedient to Him, just a wife must remain obedient to her husband.

God said, in regard to Eve, “she is to be his helper”, and therefore, subject to her husband, just as the church is subject to Christ, for He is the head.

This is a wonderful mystical union of the couple’s heart and lives (see GENESIS 2:18:24).

Marriage promotes loyalty, righteousness, and solid moral foundations that are passed on by example to our children and their children and their children, and so on, along with our faith in Christ.

Marriage should be viewed as a great gift from God, and it should be treasured; He created it for our enjoyment and contentment, and pronounced it “good.”

Marriage works, but for it to work perfectly, we need to follow God’s instructions as in His word and remain obedient to Him.

Many believe that marriage will fix their problems, but rather than fix one's life, it will expose his or her life. It brings issues to light so that they can be confronted and dealt with, and that God can transform one's thinking to holiness.

When arguments rise within marriage and one gets angry, it is exposing issues in his or her life and the inability to deal with certain situations such as control, lust and anger, or even a demanding nature.

Withholding intimacy exposes the lack of love, care, and or understanding of how important  intimacy is in marriage, especially sexual intimacy. 

Just as the body of Christ must come together regularly to honour God, so must a husband and wife come together regularly to honour one another with their bodies.

Sadly, many people are quick to justify themselves to hold back from coming together in both marriage and church, which suggest that their hearts are not in it.

But it is wise to remember that Jesus does not accept like warm in ministry, and wouldn't approve of it in marriage (REVELATION 3:16).

Some seem to think it's ok to live separately if their is difficult divisions in their marriage, but, even though many Christian couples separate,  that isn't really acceptable to God. Even though we have individual bodies, as a married couple,  together in marriage, you both become one member within the body of Christ and should operate together in ministry as to the Lord.

“Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”” Mathew 19:4-6 NKJV

That includes you. Separating from your spouse is breaking the covenant you made with him or her and God.

Most divisions in marriage and church come from sex, money, and control, and expose the lack of understanding of our individual role in marriage, such as, our place, desire to control, or weakness to lead, selfishness and pride, and such as these.

The same can be said to our relationship with Christ, we don't see anger in Jesus when we fail to turn up for worship, because He is always right, holy and perfect.  But when we constantly fail to come together as a body in worship, it reveals deep issues within the heart of the believer, such as the lack of love, faith, respect, or the importance of coming together in worship and such things that we may not understand.

The same applies to our marriages.

Love, like forgiveness is a choice, and marriage can reveal the lack of love and forgiveness in one's heart.

On the other hand, patience and understanding reveal God's love to the onlookers, for they shine for Christ.

No one can follow the basic instructions of marriage  without reading His word and taking it in.

If your marriage is struggling, go back to basics and look at God’s instruction for you as a husband or a wife; His way works (JOHN 14:6).

It takes effort and determination, and we will all need God’s help.

Therefore pray individually and together for your marriage; it is a three way relationship.

When you give your marriage vows before God, you are agreeing a covenant with your spouse and God; it is a life-long agreement that must not be broken.

One cannot remove or replace any of the conditions of the covenant because God is the author and the finisher (HEBREWS 12:2), and nothing has changed.

To be disobedient to the covenant would be rebellious.

If you break that covenant with your spouse, you are also breaking your covenant with God. 

The devil is never far away-he comes to steal, and to kill, and to destroy and he wants to destroy your marriage, indeed all your relationships, particularly your relationship with God.

But Jesus came that we have life, and that we have it more abundantly (JOHN 10:10).

To receive life in abundance, put your trust in Jesus.

Sex, control, and money are the three main areas that the devil will try to attack your marriage.

If you leave a crack in the door, he will enter in and cause havoc.

But if you follow God’s good instruction and resist the devil, he will flee from you (JAMES 4:7).

Know and take your place as a husband or a wife and fulfil all your obligations and don’t allow the temptations of the devil, disobedience or pride destroy that what the Lord our God said is good.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:1-16 and EPHESIANS 5:22-33 gives us great instruction for marriage.

Read it, take it in, and obey it; it is God given instructions that you agreed to when you gave your marriage vows before God.

Paul tells us, “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

‭‭I Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭1‬-‭9‬ ‭NKJV

Whilst the word tells us love does not seek its own (1 CORINTHIANS 13:5), we all have needs, and therefore, one must not withhold  intimacy except for the purpose of fasting and prayer when both agree, but must then come together in intimacy immediately the fast is broken to protect one another from temptation. Withholding intimacy could be throwing your spouse under the bus if it results him or her falling to lust.

Maybe, your spouses need are greater than yours and fulfilling your obligations feels like a job. It shouldn't, for intimacy is far more than fulfilling obligations. But if it does, do so as if working for the Lord (Colossians 3:18-25), and whatever you do, do not let your spouse know that you see it as a job. This would negatively affect your marriage and your spouse, and could bring serious problems within your marriage.

Therefore, if your spouse is hungry, feed him or her and satisfy.

If you don’t  satisfy your spouse, the devil knows someone who will!

Husbands, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:22‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Husbands, she is your God given helper, Cherish her! Treat her with love and respect,  and do not be demanding, but rather, be patient and kind and understanding, for she is a gift from God.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭22‬-‭33‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Just as the church, the bride of Christ, is subject to the Lord, so the wife is subject to her husband, and just as Christ loved the Church with all provision, even taking responsibility for her on a cross, so the husband must love his wife with all provision and take responsibility for her, even to the point of death.

We all have disagreements, and at times those differences can be fiery, but Paul said, “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭26‬-‭27‬ ‭NKJV‬

My beloved, never sleep on anger or offence, for like cancer it will grow.

The same can be said regarding our relationship with Christ and our brethren, for we are all individual members of one body (1 CORINTHIANS 12-12-13), the bride of Christ (REVELATION 19:7; 21:2 and 9-10).

In Christ we believers are all equal, no one is above or below another, and are all called with individual purpose, and Christ is the head “For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and have all been made to drink into one Spirit. For in fact the body is not one member but many.”

‭‭I Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭12‬-‭14‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

In Christ, no longer can one say, women can’t preach or teach, or lead, because is it not “I”, but “Christ” in "me" that does it.

“For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.”

‭‭Galatians‬ ‭3‬:‭26‬-‭29‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

But in physical marriage, the husband is the head, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the vision bearer and accountable for the welfare of his family.

The wife is his helper, companion, and special treasure, and must remain subject to her husband as to the Lord, for a man is responsible for his family.

My beloved, just as a married couple must come together regularly, not depriving one another (1 CORINTHIANS 7:5), so the whole body must come together regularly with Christ in worship. That is our purpose, to worship and honour our Father in Heaven.

Just as in marriage, our relationship with Christ cannot survive without  intimacy. That means continuous  conversations in prayer and worship and regular church attendance which is the coming together of the body.

Church attendance once a week is not sufficient to build or sustain full relationship with Christ, just as our human marriage takes daily effort, so does our relationship with Christ.

“Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭10‬:‭19‬-‭25‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

And finally my beloved, love is the foundation of God’s way of life (MATHEW 22:37-40).

Therefore, apply the love of Christ to your marriage, knowing, 

that “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

‭‭I Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4‬-‭13‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

All glory to God forever and ever! Amen.